Peace, love and light everyone, I hope all is well. I wrote a blog about bad bedside manner and how I’ve experienced doctor’s not being good listeners, misdiagnosing me, lack of compassion and other stuff. I decided to put a video together in honor of Ovarian Cancer and GYN Cancer Awareness month, but this video pertains to anyone with any sort of health condition (I have Chronic Lyme) and even if you have pristine health and getting your annual checkups, you still deserve the very best care.
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For those who haven’t heard of this term “bad bedside manner” it means a few things. There’s a lack of or no compassion expressed, their listening skills is low or at a zero, yes they are medical experts BUT even though you are the expert of your own body they try to downplay what you do know about your own self & condition and they even will go as far as to state that a couple of the other doctors you may have on your medical team like I do are wrong (they are know it all’s). Some feel as if they can talk to you any which way.
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I hope this video empowers someone and sheds some light. You are your own best advocate and if you have a caregiver then they are as well. Just know that you are worthy of having the best care, to be the center of attention, to be listened to and to receive good treatment. PERIOD!
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Long post alert..but it’s worth it (Bedside Manner 101):
Peace, love and light everyone, I hope all is well. I wanted to stop by and share a recent experience I had with a new doctor who has no bedside manner. For those who have not heard of this term it means a few things. There’s a lack of or no compassion expressed, their listening skills is low, yes they are the experts medically BUT even though you are the expert of your own body they try to downplay what you do know about your own self, condition and they even will go as far as to state that a couple of the other doctors you may have on your medical team like I do are wrong (know it all’s). Although my doctors or practitioners have been in their field for years, have great reviews and have taken me a mighty and long way, this new doctor seemed to not care.
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During my appointment I had to tell the doctor a couple of times, “I’m not here to argue with you.” If you find yourself having to say that to a doctor, health practitioner, etc, that is already an indication of red flags and they aren’t a good fit. I also had to state that I have been doing lots of research about Lyme disease and have been studying underneath world renowned doctors because I wanted to know more about all that was happening to me when I was diagnosed, see what others in the Lyme community struggle with and how to treat with a few lingering symptoms. The new doctor went on to say that some of what we were doing was not scientifically proven therefore he doesn’t support it. (Shaking my head by this point).
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I’m stopping by to let folks know that you don’t have to put up with doctors or practitioners like this. What I had to do in the midst of that appointment was take a few deep breaths behind my mask, told him exactly what I needed which I did receive which were labs and he even suggested some other tests that I agreed to that are necessary and went on about my business. I will also look for another specialist to take those results too because I’m not going to deal with him again.
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During times like this, stress levels are extra high, when you are already dealing with a medical condition it puts even more strain on you as a person and your loved ones. The last thing you need is someone who’s going to talk down to you, who lacks compassion and really needs to learn about bedside manner no matter how long they’ve been a doctor or practitioner.
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Photo Credit by Dr. Alison Chen
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I’ve actually worked with clients of mine on this very topic and for it to happen to me again is like deja vu. I also did not hold in my emotions. When I got to a safe space which was my car this particular day, I turned on some inspirational music, I didn’t just drive right off and I let out a good cry. Crying is healing and I had to let it out. I also reached out to a couple of Elders that I trust and had them cover me in prayers and love.
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Photo Credit By: Polina Zimmerman Pexels.com
Long story short, you deserve the very best for whoever is reading this, if someone is not going to work out on your medical team, your loved ones team if you are caregiver and the list goes on, then you can request another doctor or practitioner which is what I am going to do until I get different insurance and can go back to my other specialist.
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We have enough to deal with in this world and we don’t need to add anything extra to our plates that’s going to be negative or dim the light in us. Meditate over your decision, pray, take deep breaths, listen to something whether soothing and relaxing that will help you bring your blood pressure back down.
Photo Credit By: Oluremi Adebayo
When you’re requesting a new doctor, ask for their name if it’s a large practice like the one I visited, they just assigned a doctor to me (no bueno), read the reviews and even after you make the appointment you see this person has bad reviews, it’s okay to call back and request someone that has great bedside manner, a wonderful listener and who deeply cares about their patients.
Much love to all of you and thanks for reading this long post, but I wanted to share what I went through and I hope that it can help others. I don’t want anyone to go through what I went through.
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You are NOT alone in this journey and the one thing you want is to have the right people on your team whether it is medical, academically, and just within the circle of your friends. You want the right folks who will be honest with you but care enough about you to not hurt your feelings and break you down.
Be well everyone. May peace be with each of you. Just know…I care and I’m in your corner
